There is a stirring in my spirit at this very moment. The spirit of the living God is touching me on this special night. It has been a long long time… a long long time I have never feel such stirring in my heart.. perhaps, there was this feeling all these while..but being ignored by me unconsciously?
For the past few months, there were some emotional wounds/past hurts buried in the heart…many times, the feeling of pain, resentment, anger, hatred, distress and etc lingered around me. There were countless time hindrances/laziness kept me absence in the church on Sabbath Day. I broke the promise between God and me. I disobeyed the 10 commandments which I know I should not be doing it. There were times, I tried so hard to break the wall..the wall that blocked me from going back to the house of God, but eventually, am still lose. Of course, I know why. The problem is me. I am the one who blocked myself from going into His presence. I am the one who give up. Satan dragged me to nowhere. I wandered around.. I confused…I questioned.. I suspected..I denied..I feel tired…I feeling like shouting "enough" and go off with my own way.. but in the end, my heart convinced me that God is a real God. Though my mouth is denying but my heart is convincing me that He is the truth. I was blinded spiritually but it does not stop me from knowing the calls from God. Thank you, Holy Spirit.
Things started to change last week.. I went to church..happily worshipped, happily received the words of God, happily fellowshipped and indeed, I had a fruitful day. All those negative feelings gone. I found myself so different. I actually did not lost the feeling.. the strong feeling of my love towards God and vice versa. I still love God so much. I am still His useful servant. I am still a precious child to Him. I was embraced in His precence. It was nice to release the feeling and swam in the spirit. Thats right. I grabbed it.
I grabbed the word. "It is written"! "It is written"!! "It is written"!!!
"I have Your Word for it and I am resting on Your Word. I am not trying to be healed. My healing has already happened. I don’t care what this mind says. It has to line up with Your Word because the blood of Jesus has covered me"
Pastor Joseph said, "When the devil attacks you, give him the Word of God. There is something about the Word of God that causes him not to want to hang around those who use it. It reminds him of Jesus who rendered him powerless, of no effect, when He said, “It is written…”
All I need to do is to tell the devils that "IT IS WRITTEN!!!!!!!"
Hmm..I miss the ‘old’ Canny. The Canny who was courages enough to preach the Gospel. The Canny who goes out often to do visitation. To care for people. The small little Canny who drove all the way from Wangsa to Ampang to pick up a 7 yr old child to the church. Developed Children Ministry together with pastors. The Canny who gives loves to children and broken family. Reach out to people. The Canny who gives sacrificially(time, money, cares, loves, ‘face’).. A small little Canny who brought children to Zoo Negara, Aquaria, JJ n etc. The Canny who boiled liang tea for cell members who are facing the exam, who dapao food for member who stays in hostel during their exam season, prayed for their exam, hang out with them during free time. The Canny who cares all out. The Canny who visited the cancer patients in the hospital and pray for them. The Canny who never missed out any activities in the church. The Canny who submitted to the leader. The CORE Member in the church.
I really miss the old Canny. I still remember my prophecy. "Continue to care for the uncared,love the unloved.You wil be a great pastor." It has stored in my memory. When will be the time?The devils is trying hard to stop me. I know. Yes I know. From Core level dropped to community-unchurch. How sad if I am still dont care about all these? It is the time now. Its time I will shout at them that, "Devils, its enough!" , I said, "IT, IS, ENOUGH!!!!!! " For "It is written"
** Believe me. Small little Canny is rising up.
Nothing is better than seeing people come to know the Lord. NOthing can compare to the joy when we see people get the miracles that they want. Nothing is gonna happen if we did not do anything. No ones will know the Lord if we did not preach. Care for people doesnt mean we are sharing the Gospel. Christmas is coming… the gift I long to give to people is the care and love of Jesus.
2007 wil end after 39days. Have you done anything that you are proud of in this year? Have you done any meaningful thing in this year? Is ur mission complete in this year? Lets think about it!
My Mission for 2007 before it ends : In the Progress!
My Official Site–> Canny’s corner